23. High and Low

It's the day before my birthday. It's 5pm. I'd cycled late last night and had to pass out on some patch of wet grass. I've cycled 30km today along an immensely exhausting gravel track. I have a bunch of new injuries and don't feel like I can continue anymore. I need to continue 120km more if I want to make it to Amsterdam for my birthday. Then again, my friends have just pulled out from being in Amsterdam so it doesn't seem so important now. I'm still going to make it because I said I would, but basically, I am tired and everything seems shit.

My phone's battery is dying and eventually I find a family that will help me out. We talk for a while and I find them very sweet, while I also find myself very happy with my growing ability in speaking German. They tell me I speak it very well. I'd been wondering when it would get to the point that somebody would say that to me as it's a real milestone moment in learning a language, and it feels as good to hear the words as I'd hoped. They give me some coffee, cigarettes, a bit of food, and I leave the house in much better spirits, leaving with a belief that a further 120km may just be possible. Despite what they gave me, I think it was probably their company that was most important in delivering this mood change. I think about it as I mount my bike, and I feel really grateful for them taking the time just to have a chat with me for an hour, since they didn't have to, and I'm sure they could've never known how important it was to me.

With renewed vigour, I plummet down every little street that tries to get in my way. They all try, but they all fail and I laugh at them and their bruised egos that lie so unmercifully crushed in my wake. Upon rereading, I'm sure it's these kind of sentences that make me sound at my most insane, but it's necessary, this type of thought and mentality is what allows me to keep going and going. Well, a combination of personifying roads and also singing free-styled songs (usually about kilometres) to myself for long periods of time at the top of my voice. It's not crazy, it feels very liberating and I'd recommend that you all go try it. A note here; It doesn't always have to be about kilometres, but perhaps try that first before you move onto the more advanced stuff.

60km goes by in 2 hours and a half, and I wish to reward myself at a little diner with a curry wurst. And some chips. And some chicken nuggets. And a coca-cola, a coffee, and then another curry wurst.  The meal makes me feel very content, but not for long as that very familiar realisation hits home where I remember that I'm still screwed and have nothing sorted. No highs last for long on this trip, though then again, neither do any of the lows.